Could It Really Be This Easy?

Pull up a chair... this can change everything

Have you ever gone back to watch or read something that you thoroughly enjoyed years ago, only to find that when you tried to rewatch or reread it, you couldn’t stomach it?

Or better yet, you watch something super old only to realize it wouldn’t fly today?

Sometime over the last year, I watched an episode of the original “Golden Girls” and thought, “There’s no way that would be OK today” (as hilarious as it was).

I recall feeling that way when I tried to watch Mad Men again a few years ago (originally aired in 2007). I thought it was a great show… but I was so irritated by the sexism and misogyny that I couldn’t bring myself to watch it.

It’s wild how our perception of things can shift as we evolve.

Which is a good thing.

It means we’re growing and evolving.

Sometimes these shifts in perception occur because of a single incident, and sometimes they develop over time through life experiences and events that are beyond our control.

I had one of those single-incident moments last week.

I freaking LOVE those moments.

They’re more than an “a-ha” moment.

It’s a moment that makes you physically stop and soak in the realization that you’ve just had a profound epiphany that is probably going to change everything.

I’m going to share my epiphany with you, but let’s start with some context first so you really understand why this was such a pivotal moment for me.

As a Gen Xer, much of my formative years were during the 80s when capitalism, success, and being a high achiever were glorified.

In other words, it was “win at all costs!"

A perfect example is Emilio Estevez’s character, Andrew Clark, in The Breakfast Club: “We don’t tolerate any losers in this family! Your intensity is for shit! Win! Win! Win!”
(My high school brain has a strong hold on me. I can quote movies from my youth better than I can remember what I did last week 😂)

Add to that all the motivational books I read and listened to (on cassette tapes in my car), and it’s no wonder I felt like all I had to do was be disciplined and work hard, and all my dreams would come true.

If what I wanted wasn’t coming to fruition, I must not have wanted it badly enough.

So naturally, my brain was primed for the Internet Marketing space and bought into all the marketing bros and the belief that their way was the only way.

Side note: Somewhere in the 90s, I discovered Dr. Wayne Dyer and found a spiritual path that felt like coming home. It was like a huge sigh of relief—and also a bit of a contradiction to what marketers were preaching. Welcome to the conflict within.

Internet marketing felt like a bit of a gold rush…

And, much like the actual California Gold Rush of 1848, the people “getting rich” were the ones selling shovels, panning equipment, and everything else the prospectors needed to find gold.

Everything about Internet Marketing screamed “get rich quick.”

This isn’t to say that there weren’t people creating solutions to real problems and doing things ethically, but marketing and advertising weren’t designed to guide you… They were designed to get you to buy.

And I get it…

We have data and proof that this approach works, based on the principles of human behavior psychology.

But keep in mind that we have that data because that’s all that’s been studied.

Substack is PROOF that there’s another way to do things.

This epiphany occurred during a coaching call for my Money Coaching Certification.

Part of the certification process involves being coached as well as learning the core process.

I was on a call with my coach, and we were working on what’s called a “Money Pattern Map.”

And she pointed out what my values were.

Then she said something that stopped me in my tracks.

I’m paraphrasing here, but basically she said, “If you ensure any decisions you make around money line up with your values, you’ll be fine.”
(Keep in mind this was based on uncovering patterns and behaviors, but still.)

Then I thought…

If that works here, why wouldn’t it work EVERYWHERE else in my life?

Starting with my business, (at this stage of life, I’m pretty aligned with living by my values in my personal life; I just hadn’t named them or acknowledged them).

I decided to jump into ChatGPT and have her (yes, my ChatGPT is a she; I call her Sage) ask me questions so I could answer them and clearly articulate my core values.

Let me say… HOLY MOLY, this was a powerful exercise.

Here are my core values:

Oh.M.GEE.

Next, I created a list of questions to keep handy when I’ve got a decision to make or am approaching a project or content:

Joy & Gratitude

• Will this decision create joy in my life?

• Am I choosing from gratitude, not fear?

Alignment & Truth

• Is this true for me, not just expected of me?

• Does this feel aligned in my body, heart, and soul?

Simplicity & Ease

• Will this simplify my life and bring peace?

• Am I preserving my sacred spaciousness?

Growth & Possibility

• Does this invite me into my next level of expansion?

• Am I stretching toward possibility instead of shrinking into fear?

Love & Kindness

• Am I honoring myself and others with love and compassion?

• Is this decision rooted in generosity, not obligation?

Beauty & Sanctuary

• Will this add beauty and nourishment to my life environment?

• Am I protecting and growing my sanctuary?

I’m not writing out answers to these questions - they serve as simple reminders to stay true to myself with whatever decisions I make, how I choose to show up with my business, and to create a business that aligns with my values.

Could it really be this easy?

Yes.

Yes, it can.

We’re witnessing the decline of big social (great podcast episode with Chenell Basilio of Growth in Reverse here: “Social is dying - so grow your newsletter like this.”).

People are craving something different.

A way to connect with people that doesn’t feel like you’re being sold to all the time. And selling isn’t bad/wrong - but there’s definitely another way to do it.

The thing with different is that it’s much simpler than you think.

It simply means being yourself and doing what you want, in whatever way you choose.

Improving skills (particularly writing, which is key to everything online, IMO) and learning solid strategies are different from following someone’s system to achieve “10K a month.”

My first internet marketing mentor/coach advised me to find a niche that would generate income.

I was told to come up with ten different niches and then follow the plan (this was back in 2008).

The one he suggested wasn’t something I was interested in or knew much about (saltwater aquariums, which was something my brother is incredibly knowledgeable about).

But it was a niche that could make money.

Kill me now.

Needless to say, I didn’t follow his advice—and a few months later, “The WordPress Chick” was born (I retired her after ten years in that space).

The one thing “different” does require of you is courage.

But when you think about it… What’s the alternative?

I’ll leave you with this story (paraphrased) from Dr. Wayne Dyer:

As a young man, he read a book that changed his life. He was a young man in the Navy (22 years old?). The book was “The Death of Ivan Ilyich: A Dying Man’s Struggle to Find Meaning in a Life He Thought Was Well-Lived,” by Leo Tolstoy.

On his deathbed, Ivan Illyich looks up at his wife and says, “What if my life has been wrong?”

Can you imagine that thought?

It sends chills down my spine.

Dr. Dyer is attributed with this quote:

Don’t die with your music still in you.

- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Here’s to living and working by our values and sharing our gifts.