✨ the SPARK 249 ~ What I Wanted at 38 vs. What I Want Now (And How AI Finally Makes Sovereignty Possible)

The shift from "how can I do more" to "what do I actually want"

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I’m not the same person who started this business (although I wish I had her energy, lol).

In 2008, I was all in. Conferences, networking events, every marketing book I could get my hands on, and saying yes to every opportunity. I thought that’s what success looked like - more visibility, more reach, more everything. I built The WordPress Chick, along with an outsourcing company, and ran it for ten years before launching an e-commerce company with a friend. That season taught me a ton about running an online business.

Fast forward to today, and what I want has shifted. Not because I got lazy or lost my ambition, but because I gained clarity —and, of course, life wisdom that comes with age.

The version of success I was chasing - the one that required me to be everywhere, optimize every minute, and say yes to everything - looks nothing like the life I want to live (or am living) today.

What Changed

These days, the thought of going to a big marketing event makes me cringe. I’d rather have coffee or spend time with small groups of people I genuinely care about. My brain shuts off in massive conference halls. It’s no longer energizing; it’s exhausting.

I used to share everything online - photos of what I’m doing, pics with family and friends, where I’m traveling, who I’m with. Now I’m selective about what I share publicly. I have strong opinions about the billionaires running these platforms, and my comfort level has shifted.

Maybe that sounds cynical. Or maybe it’s just protecting what matters (probably a little of both 😉).

I run my newsletter, work with a few clients, build my own projects, spend time learning (never stops with AI), paint, and take long walks in the pine trees. I work when I want to work (which is still pretty much a normal workweek, just no pressure). I spend the first part of my day on work that requires creativity, and afternoons on miscellaneous tasks. I rarely set an alarm clock, hustle for visibility, or apologize for having strong opinions or being exactly who I am.

This is what sovereignty looks like for me.

What Sovereignty Actually Means

I know “sovereignty” isn’t common in business conversations. People talk about freedom and balance - perfectly good words, but they’ve been beaten to death by the same hustle culture they’re supposedly escaping.

Sovereignty means self-governing.

Building what you want on your own terms. Creating a business that serves the life you actually want, not the life you think you’re supposed to want.

Your version probably looks completely different from mine.

Maybe you love big events and get energized by crowds. Maybe you want a team of 20. That’s your sovereignty. But if, like me, you’ve realized what you thought you wanted and what you actually want are two different things, it’s worth getting clear on that.
*My guess is that a lot of what we want shifts as we hit midlife.

The Questions That Matter

✔️ What did you want when you started your business? And what do you want now?

✔️ If you had zero obligations tomorrow, what would you actually do? Not what you “should” do - what genuinely fills your soul?

✔️ What used to light you up that doesn’t anymore? (It’s okay to let that go.)

✔️ What are you doing out of “should” versus genuine desire?

✔️ If you stripped away all external validation, what would you still build?

✔️ What does “enough” look like for you?

Okay, But What Does AI Have to Do With It?

AI makes sovereignty a reality.

• Before, if you wanted to scale, you needed a team.

• Create content consistently? Either burn out doing it yourself or hire people.

• Build custom tools? Needed developers and funding.

• Grow without hustling 24/7? Out of luck.

Now? I don’t need a team (unless I want one, which I don’t), client work is not only manageable, but more enjoyable, and I’m learning to build web apps thanks to Vibe coding.

AI bought back my time - not so I could fill it with more work, but so I could experience more of the freedom I desired when I started my business.

The shift is from “how can I do MORE?” to “what do I actually want my life to look like?”

What I wanted at 38 - scale, visibility, growth - required constant hustle because the tools didn’t exist. What I want now - sovereignty, intentionality, building on my terms - is 100% possible.

You don’t need a team of 10 to do the work of 10. You don’t need VC funding to build custom tools. You don’t need to be everywhere to build something that matters.

You just need clarity about what you’re actually building and why.

Get Clear on Your Version

I’ve been deep in world-building lately - mapping out what I’m calling my SPARK Space. The experience I want to create, the spaces within it, and who it’s for. (Read my article, “You Already Know How to Do This (AI Just Makes it Easier)” if you want to learn more about world-building.)

For me, it’s not about scaling big. It’s about building small and sovereign.

So here’s what I’m asking you to think about: What did you want when you started? What do you want now? Get clear on it, because AI can help you build either version - but you have to know which one you’re actually building.

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PROMPT TO GET CLEAR ON YOUR SOVEREIGNTY:

Copy this into ChatGPT, Claude, or your AI tool of choice:

“I want to get clear on what sovereignty looks like for my business and life. Ask me 5-7 thoughtful questions about: what I actually want my daily life to look like, what fills my soul vs. what I do out of obligation, what ‘enough’ means for me, and what I’m unwilling to do even if it’s profitable. After I answer each question, challenge me if my answers seem surface-level or if I’m giving you what sounds good rather than what’s actually true. Push me to go deeper. Don’t give me advice or validate my answers - critically analyze them and ask follow-up questions when something doesn’t ring true or needs more clarity.”

Then, actually answer honestly. Not what sounds good. What’s actually true.

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I’m building my SPARK Space right now - mapping out what sovereignty looks like for me in practice. It’s messy and requires choices other people might not understand.

But that’s the point. It’s mine.

What’s yours?

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SPARK Spotlight 🔥

Over the next handful of weeks, I’m going to highlight some newsletters for the SPARK Spotlight that are worth subscribing to if you want to learn more about AI. I’ll be sharing them in no particular order. 😉

It’s a simple way of saying thank you to these creators and sharing something I find incredibly valuable.

First up is “AI Blew My Mind” by Daria Cupareanu. Daria shares tons of step-by-step tutorials and use cases. She has a jam-packed site for paid subscribers ($8 a month).

My only complaint is that I don’t have enough time to try everything she shares. 😉

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A Little Brainpower 🧠

Maximize NotebookLM. “NotebookLM: 5 Strategies That 99% of Users Don’t Know (But Should).”

Did you know you can embed Substack Notes? News to me! “16 Ways You Should Use Substack Notes (and 3 Ways You Shouldn’t),” by Casandra Campbell.

A little reflection on a journey into AI by Dallas Payne. “Observations from my comfy chair on this whole “AI adventure.”

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Tool Time ⚒️

• Video: I continue to be blown away by Google’s AI tools. Meet Google Flow, an AI filmmaking tool for creating videos. I’ve used Google’s VEO model, but not with Flow. Try Google Flow here.

• AI SEO: Make your brand citable – ensure you’re discovered and referenced
  when millions search with AI-powered tools. Try Citable free here.

• Presentations: Collaborate, edit, and create slide decks. Edit the AI Images as you go. Try Pitch free here.

• Workflows & Agents: Automate everything from simple tasks to multi-step workflows for your apps, databases, and business, natively inside of Softr — no third-party tools required. Try Softr.io free here.

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Haha… 😂

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And on that note…

This is a bit longer than usual this week, so here’s to having a wonderful Thursday!

With coffee & kindness,
Kim